Dwell on what's right . . . .

Nothing can doom a relationship faster than dwelling on what's wrong. If you're constantly focusing on what's wrong in your relationship or in the other person, look out! You just magnify it and project more of the same. This is a scary thought, because we all know what it's like when something starts bothering you. You tend to fixate on it and mull it over a hundred times in your mind. Don't dwell on your differences. Chances are that if you've been drawn together with someone to the point of entering into a serious relationship, you have far more in common than you've ever realized. What you likely do have in common is life assumptions and core beliefs, and it's likely just as true now as it was when you first met. Another irony here is that it's the little differences between partners that actually attracted them to one another in the first place. That's often what's fun --- the adventure of seeing things from someone else's perspective while still sharing the same core beliefs. After all, we don't want clones; we want someone who may help balance out our life, not shadow it. Yet it's sometimes these little differences that are dwelled upon and therefore magnified way out of proportion and context, to the point of becoming the very justification for ending the relationship they once helped launch. Dwelling on what works, what pleases you, your similarities, and  what is "right" will not only expand its presence in your life but will literally maximize the chances of drawing more "positive" behavior from your partner.

From the book

Infinite Possibilities


Photo by
Petra Van Raaij