Fake it 'til you make it . . . .

Celebrities always look so confident, don't they? I have so often read articles in which many of them confess that they do not feel as confident as they seem. We all suffer from low self confidence from time to time. There will always be days when we are just not feeling it. But it truly is all in our minds. It's about the way we perceive ourselves, and the ability to feel it lies essentially in our own hands. How cool is that? If you see yourself as an attractive person who is capable and energetic, others will see you the same way.

Believe in your abilities! Give yourself credit for what you do. The more you value that, the more you will build self-assurance in what you have to offer. 

Be grateful! At the end of every day, write down three things that you are grateful for, and make it a habit to appreciate life! Being grateful churns out happiness, which leads to a more confident person.

Take care of yourself! If you look good, you'll feel good. Period.

Fake it 'til you make it! If you act like a confident person, you are more likely to become that person. Positive self-talk will help you build the self confidence that you yearn for. Stop criticizing yourself. Remind yourself that you are beautiful and talented until you believe it. 

"No one can make you feel inferior 

without your consent."

-Eleanor Roosevelt

Show 'em what you've got! . . . .

I hate to break it to you, but people aren't always really happy for you when you succeed. Please don't let them control you with jealousy. If you let them, they will define you in a way that is convenient and nonthreatening for them,..... which is completely unfair, don't you think? Don't let them dampen your spirit or your passion just because it works for them! You are alive for a special reason and that reason is to be the best that you can be. Do not allow anyone to take that responsibility from you, especially not for the sake of their own comfort. When you were a child, you couldn't stand up for your own authenticity, but you sure can now! The real you is set apart by all that is within you...... confidence, hope, optimism, joy and purpose. Show 'em what you've got!....... Rawr!

"Jealousy springs more from love of self 
than from love of another." 


-Francois de La Rochefoucauld

Photo via Google Images

Photo via One League Artists

Stylist Crystal Birch

27 years . . . .

"A long marriage is two people 

trying to dance a duet 

and two solos at the same time."

-Anne Taylor Fleming

Happy Anniversary to my husband.

Thank you for the dance.

xo

A WOMAN IS OFTEN MEASURED BY THE THINGS SHE CANNOT CONTROL. SHE IS MEASURED BY THE WAY HER BODY CURVES OR DOESN'T CURVE,  BY WHERE SHE IS FLAT OR STRAIGHT OR ROUND. SHE IS MEASURED BY 36-24-36 AND INCHES AND AGES AND NUMBERS, BY ALL THE OUTSIDE THINGS THAT DON'T EVER ADD UP TO WHO SHE IS ON THE INSIDE. AND SO IF A WOMAN IS TO BE MEASURED, LET HER BE MEASURED BY THE THINGS SHE CAN CONTROL, BY WHO SHE IS AND WHO SHE IS TRYING TO BECOME. BECAUSE EVERY WOMAN KNOWS MEASUREMENTS ARE ONLY STATISTICS, AND STATISTICS LIE.

Thank you, 

for this great ad.

Honor your individuality . . . .

The root of encouragement is the French word coeur, for heart. To encourage is to put the heart back into someone, to help each other live well and live together. We were created for love and community. Yet we live in a competitive world that discourages us, telling us all the ways we don't measure up and why we need this product or that service to overcome our inadequacies. There is a great emphasis on what we lack; the messages in the media are rooted in fear and manipulation. What we need is the courage to claim our own lives, to have the confidence to live with resolution, vitality, and purpose.

I used to be so worried about what others thought. Others are thinking--but not about me. I had a million scenarios playing in my mind, created by a judgmental inner censor telling me everything that I was doing wrong. We judge ourselves harshly for being different, call our uniqueness failure, and see our struggles as a collection of symptoms needing diagnosis, prescription, and cure.

What if we decide to see our "shortcomings" in a different light? What if we give ourselves permission to be unique, instead of playing an assigned role that doesn't fit? What if we allow ourselves to honor our true natures, to listen to the goodness and wisdom that reside deep in our hearts?

I believe that we are all creative, that we all deserve to be encouraged in our endeavors, and that every person can learn to cultivate his or her own uniqueness. Everyone must eventually choose between sterile conformity and listening to their inner wisdom. Everyone comes to a crossroads where they must decide either to honor their individuality or to stay in the constricting box of cultural expectations. Every person has the potential to find a community of like-minded people and to create a matrix of safety and encouragement for personal and collective growth and creativity.

From the book

The Art of Encouragement

by Candy Paull

"It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are."  

-e.e. cummings

Happy Friday!

Have a lovely weekend!

Live your truth . . . .

How different would your life be if you shaped it based on who you really are and what defines you?  What if you left the expectations of others behind, and began living your life the way you feel is most worthwhile? When we allow others to define us, accepting assigned roles and labels, rather than living our life authentically, it drains us of our life energy. When we accept the labels that others so willingly bestow upon us, we end up repeating the wrong message. The truth is.....labels ignore who you really are! Becoming real is a point in your life when you stop paying attention to those labels, and start listening to your heart. Your heart has been speaking to you for years! The process of 'becoming real' begins when you decide to listen; when you learn to accept and appreciate what it is that makes you different from all the others. As you learn to trust the wisdom of your heart and begin to make creative choices based on what you know is right for you, it is at this point, we grow into ourselves.

Stop burning daylight! Do yourself a favor and get in touch with what you know in your heart really matters.  When you can begin to project who you really are, (and leave the assigned roles & labels behind), you begin making a wonderful contribution to those around you. You put forth the best of who you are!  

Other people's opinion of you 

does not have to become your reality.  

-Les Brown

Photo via Google Images

We Teach People How to Treat Us . . . .

You either teach people to treat you with dignity and respect, or you don't. This means you are partly responsible for the mistreatment that you get at the hands of someone else. You shape others' behavior when you teach them what they can get away with and what they cannot.

If people in your life treat you in an undesirable way, figure out what you are doing to reinforce, elicit or allow that treatment. Identify the payoffs you may be giving someone in response to any negative behavior. For example, when people are aggressive, bossy or controlling --- and then get their way --- you have rewarded them for unacceptable behavior.

Because you are accountable, you can declare the relationship "reopened for negotiation" at any time you choose, and for as long as you choose. Even a pattern of relating that is 30 years old can be redefined. Before you reopen the negotiation, you must commit to do so from a position of strength and power, not fear and self-doubt. The resolve to be treated with dignity and respect must be uncompromising.

The worst thing you could do is make a lot of noise about changing things, only to revert to the old, familiar, destructive patterns. To talk about change and not take action to do it is to teach that person to treat your statements and declarations lightly. You will teach him or her to be patient, confident that you will soon give in. Where your relationship standards are concerned, commit to yourself that, although it may be difficult to effect change, you must not compromise. To compromise in this area is to sell out your most precious commodity: YOU.

We teach people how to treat us. Own, rather than complain about, how people treat you. Learn to renegotiate your relationships to have what you want.

From the book Life Strategies

Good to know . . . .

Photo via Patterson Maker

This is The Universe . . . .

This is The Universe....

I'm here to ask you a favor.... something I've never done before, 

and it's a really BIG ONE.... 

Please... just be you... today, this week, for the rest of your life... just be YOU. Not that you haven't been, but I know how impatient you sometimes get... I know of how much you want... and I know that you sometimes doubt yourself, life, even the magic that now surrounds you. Well... don't be impatient, ALL THINGS will be YOURS in time... keep hold of your dreams, they're yours to remind you of what's possible...and please, know that you are SO on track and that "WE" are so, so proud of you, just as you are. 

Just be you, because if you only knew of how much this would mean to all whose lives you touch, and for the difference you will make... there is no other "way" you'd want to be.

-Your biggest fan.

Via Notes from The Universe

Photo via zastavki

Happy Friday!
Have a magical weekend!

You are beautiful already . . . .

"To the people who love you, you are beautiful already. This is not because they're blind to your shortcomings but because they so clearly see your soul. Your shortcomings then dim by comparison. The people who care about you are willing to let you be imperfect and beautiful, too."

-Victoria Moran


Photo by Alexander Benz

Follow your intuition . . . .

Happy Friday!

Have an awesome weekend!

Photo by PETRA VAN RAAIJ via One League Management

Permission Granted . . . .

You have permission to be who you are. You have permission to love what you love. You have permission to be with the people you wish to be with and to do the things you want to do. You have permission to ask questions, to experience all the pains and pleasures of your life.

You have permission to listen to your body's needs and to meet those needs. You have permission to explore your inner heart. You do not have to separate yourself into airtight compartments labeled body, mind, soul, spirit. You have permission to be a whole person, not a fragmented collection of miscellaneous parts.

You do not have to twist yourself into a pretzel to become someone you are not. You don't have to squeeze yourself into a tight little box to fit someone else's expectations. The universe has given you permission to be yourself.

Breathe a sigh of relief. 

Allow growth and change to happen. 

You have spent too much time beating yourself up for the wrong reasons. 

It will be all right.
Permission is granted.

From the book 

The Art of Encouragement

by

Candy Paull

Photo by Joel Rhodin via Agent Bauer

. . . . and have you told them today?

"Sometimes people are beautiful.

Not in looks.

Not in what they say.

Just in what they are."

-Markus Zusak

Be true to yourself . . . .

It's true.......your parents, employers, co-workers, and friends all have needs for you to be a certain way. And in all likelihood, you have complied with and conformed to those expectations, at the expense of your own gifts, abilities, and dreams. If you send messages to the people around you that you will passively allow them to assign you roles that you wouldn't have chosen in a million years - they will. The people who really care about you will try to find a way to help you get what you want, even if it scares them for you to change.

Change can be painful, even when it is change for the better. You have the ability to light up your life like you can't believe, and the sooner you understand that, the better. Your abilities will flourish when they are not controlled by someone else's idea of who you should be. Your authentic self is there, it has always been there, and it is fully accessible to you. You are not the exception to this fact. There are no exceptions. 

You have the power . . . .

Passion, excitement, and confidence are the important medicines that we need every day. At some time or another, all of us have encountered people who seemed to be larger than life somehow, people whose experience of life was filled with color and excitement. In short, they were excited about life and were having a ball. Through them we catch a glimpse of what the authentic life is like. Is it possible that you are an excitingly unique individual with the need to do and be all of who you are, yet you are denying that powerful individuality, and you remain bogged down and buried in a world of "responsibility traps" and "don't make waves" conformity? Think back to when your own life was the most interesting one you knew, and you couldn't wait to see what would happen next. Perhaps most important was the fact that you accepted your self for who and what you were. Whether you know it or not, you will always have a tremendous power to determine your life. You can make your life hum if you will link up your true self and your world. To do that you have to get intimately in touch with you. As you address the question of you, starting now, stop dealing in opinions or assumptions, and start dealing in facts. That fact is, it takes so much energy to be what you are not, and it takes so little to be what you truly are.

Compiled from a Self Matters calendar
Photo via Google Images

workisnotajob . . . .

I was blog surfing recently, perusing holzdesign, when I saw the graphic below that I thought was extremely clever. Turns out it's from a company called workisnotajob.....a design studio dedicated to creative inspiration, typography and visual communications. They tell us "we're pretty busy, splitting our time between our own art, independent projects, music, and well, cups of coffee."   

The more I read about this company, the more I was intrigued! Their charming attitude and appealing philosophy is what prompted me to continue reading. Here,  let them explain........

workisnotawhat?

Good question.

"Work" is the transfer of energy. We enjoy transferring our energy into something creative and inspiring. In fact, we'd like to think it's a wonderful opportunity. 

We go about this by following one basic rule: work

If you are active, it will lead to something, something you can work with. We creatively consider 'work' as pleasant activity that offers free development and individual contribution. 

We make little distinction between work and play and strongly believe in inspiration as the magical power to change the world. Your every day activity and commitment, talent and dedication that exceed business hours define your work. Now, what defines a job again?

For us, this is the pursuit of a dream. We feel that workisnotajob..........Oh and who are you not to live your dream? Whatever yours is, start now. 

We hope you feel it too.

Keep up the good work! (andthankyou).

Choose to believe . . . .

Choose to believe in the originality of you.....

your willingness to stand out from the crowd.....

your unique perspective on what's happening in the world and in your life.

Choose to believe in the wisdom of you.....

the way you trust your intuition......

your unfailing commitment to doing the right thing.

And most of all,

Choose to believe in the heart of you.....

the genuine compassion, empathy, and friendship you offer to everyone you know.

Photo by Justin Cooper
at 2C