Children want limits . . . .

"You don't have to be the world's strongest man 

to earn the respect of a child or a teenager, 

but you have to be strong enough 

to stand your ground against an onslaught of resistance."

-S. Truett Cathy

Children all around us are growing up without strong positive guidance from their parents, who are busy, distracted, absent, or choose to be buddies instead of parents to their children. You see them in your neighborhood, your classroom, your troop, your team, or your family.

These children cannot build themselves into responsible adults. They cannot teach themselves respect, trust, generosity, or common sense. They need for you to teach them. They need for you to reach out to them in love - to love them into a sense of belonging. They need for you to be available to talk - to be a friend. They need your firm instruction. They need honest encouragement and to be reminded of their strengths and opportunities. 

How many families have you seen that are ruled by the child? By age five, some children already dictate to their parents what they will do. They know their parents would rather give in to their demands than deal with a tantrum. I've seen dozens of children through the years who never understood respect for authority. Their parents rarely enforced discipline at home until the children were completely out of control. Their inconsistent message only amplified the problem. Be so consistent with your discipline that you're boring! 

"Children want limits,

and they want to be able

to respect the adults

who set those limits."

From the book

It's Better To Build Boys Than Mend Men

-by S. Truett Cathy

Happy Thanksgiving, my friends!

xo, Connie

I am a big fan of StoryCorps. They are an independent nonprofit, whose mission is to provide Americans of all backgrounds and beliefs with the opportunity to record, share, and preserve the stories of their lives. They do this to remind us of our shared humanity, to strengthen and build the connections between people, teach the value of listening, and to weave into the fabric of our culture the understanding that every life matters. At the same time, they create an invaluable archive of American voices and wisdom for future generations.

Listen and watch the animated video below as Joshua Littman, a 12-year old boy with Asperger's syndrome, interviews his mother, Sarah. Joshua's unique questions and Sarah's loving, unguarded answers reveal a beautiful relationship that reminds us of the best--and the most challenging--parts of being a parent.

Record your own story by making your reservation here.

Children are a gift . . . .

Each child is an opportunity, not a property. Each new life is a gift that you get for a borrowed amount of time. It is a beautiful chance for parents to guide and fill children with as much love, knowledge and inspiration as possible so they can be sent into the world as wise, self-trusting and responsible adults who know how to use their own intuition. These intuitive pathways encourage growth and personal power. Let your children know what a gift they are to this world.

It's not easy raising a child! We, as parents, don't get a manual when we give birth or adopt an infant. We learn to write our own script to navigate the waters of these new relationships. And as children mature, we are faced with many behavioral and emotional challenges such as defiance, lack of self-confidence, no motivation and failure to take responsibility. In order to understand these challenges, we can expand our own minds by looking at the way we were parented (understanding what was bad and expanding on what was good) and be aware of how to make an important shift to strengthen our families, respect our children and live with love for one another.

In the book Raising A Happy Spirit, by Julianna Lyddon, it talks about the unspoken connections that lie at the base of all relationships. Intuitive pathways will help parents recognize the fullness of each child's purpose. They are familiar staples of parenting but they aren't discussed often. Get the book, and you can read them in a new way with deeper meaning and substance.

It's not too late . . . .

One of my favorite authors, Dan Zadra, writes....When you reach the end of your life do you want to be one of the people who are glad they did, or one of the people who wish they had?

Start doing the things today that will matter tomorrow. Don't leave this world without giving it your all. The best inheritance you can leave your kids is an example of how to live a full and meaningful life.

Live your life so that your children can tell their children that you not only stood for something wonderful - you acted on it!

"I don't want to get to the end of my life 

and find that I lived just the length of it. 

I want to have lived the width of it as well."

-Diane Ackerman


Photo via Getty Images

Let's hear it for "more girlfriend time" . . .

 I received this email from a good friend of mine and thought it was worth sharing.....

 ... I just finished taking an evening class at Stanford. The last lecture was on the mind-body connection--the relationship between stress and disease.  The speaker (head of psychiatry at Stanford) said, among other things, that one of the best things that a man could do for his health is to be married to a woman whereas for a woman, one of the best things she could do for her health was to nurture her relationships with her girlfriends.  At first everyone laughed, but he was serious. 

Women connect with each other differently and provide support systems that help each other to deal with stress and difficult life experiences. Physically this quality "girlfriend time" helps us to create more seratonin--a neurotransmitter that helps combat depression and can create a general feeling of well being.  Women share feelings whereas men often form relationships around  activities. They rarely sit down with a buddy and talk about how they feel about certain things or how their personal lives are going.  Jobs? Yes.  Sports? Yes.  Cars? Yes.  Fishing, hunting, golf?  Yes.  But their feelings?--rarely.  Women do it all of the time. We share from our souls with our sisters, and evidently that is very good for our health.  He said that spending time with a friend is just as important to our general health as jogging or working out at a gym. 

There's a tendency to think that when we are "exercising" we are doing something good for our bodies, but when we are hanging out with friends, we are wasting our time and should be more productively engaged--not true.  In fact, he said that failure to create and maintain quality personal relationships with other humans is as dangerous to our physical health as smoking!  So every time you hang out to shmooze with a gal pal, just pat yourself on the back and congratulate yourself for doing something good for your health!  We are indeed very very lucky.   Sooooo let's toast to our friendship with our girlfriends. Evidently it's very good for our health.

Photo by James Strack via One League Artists

How do you want to be remembered? . . .

A friend of mine lost a family member over the weekend which sparked a thought about leaving a legacy. I'm not referring to a financial legacy. I'm talking about an expression of your personal values, priorities and intentions, and what kind of impact it would have on your family and friends. Have you thought about what stories your loved ones will tell about you after you've gone?  What kind of significant meaning do you think you'll pass on to those you leave behind? We all want to live a life that matters. When I think about all the people I have known that have passed, there are several who have touched my life in such a way that their legacy actually acts as a guide for me.  With one person in particular, I am reminded of his courage, what it took for him to face everyday obstacles, and how he did it with such grace. With another, I think of how it was no effort for her to put others first. It came naturally for her, and she wouldn't have had it any other way. These people made such a lasting impression on me, that it has helped determine MY actions. That is a wonderful contribution! Personally, I feel that if you can put something in the world that wasn't there before; particularly something that could possibly make a difference in the lives of others, then you are well on your way to leaving a meaningful legacy. We worry about a lot of things in this life that ultimately don't matter, and today I'm just reminded to think about the things that do.

Photo by Jeremy Underwood

Bon voyage . . . .

Swimsuit - check.  Flip-flops - check.  Camera - check. I'm packed and ready to go! It is time to take my own advice, enjoy my family, laugh, listen to my heart, find clarity, and live each moment. By this time tomorrow, I'll have my toes in the sand, taking in the sea air, relaxing, and finally getting to those books that I've been meaning to read. I wish you all a wonderful 12 days, and wanted you to know that I will try my best to post some good stuff while I'm gone, but if I miss a day or two ...... just so you know, it means that I didn't wake up from my nap in time, I had one too many cocktails, or I just couldn't get off the beach.  Ciao, for now!

"A vacation is having 
nothing to do, 

and all day to do it."

-Robert Orben


Happy Friday!
Have a lovely weekend!

Look for their graces . . . .

With Thanksgiving approaching tomorrow, many of us will be spending time with family. For many of us it will be a wonderful day of plenty. . . lots of good food, football, family and relaxation. Unfortunately, many families will face situations that include uneasy feelings, turbulent situations or unnecessary drama. It is far easier to be critical of our family members and neighbors than of ourselves. When we continually judge others we do not have to look at our own weaknesses, and we have an explanation for everything that goes wrong. If you are looking at your family through a dirty window, be aware that it is quite possible that your own window is streaked, and when you clean it, your family improves dramatically. If you look through the window of blame, you will never find peace. Before you make a judgement, learn the facts and circumstances accurately. The knowledge you gain may change your opinion. Look for people's graces and not their faults. It is then, that you will find peace.

Wishing you a day full of grace & appreciation.