Make an effort to connect . . . .

In my mind, there is no substitute for an amazing conversation with someone whom you feel a connection. The benefits feed my soul in a way that is irreplaceable. It truly is priceless. I had a lovely conversation with a friend last night about this very topic.........what it means to have meaningful relationships. We both realize the importance of taking a closer look, and making an effort to nurture those connections.  You have to be willing to open your heart, however, to get there. It's easy to make small talk, right? Shallow acquaintances are around every corner, and at every holiday party, but they usually leave us with little or no lasting worth. Healthy, caring relationships can give our lives immeasurable joy and meaning. Like most things with value in life, these relationships must be sought and maintained deliberately. Are you willing to make a conscious effort to develop meaningful relationships? Open your mind to the possibilities! We have a chance to learn something from everyone we meet. What a gift! Life moves so quickly.....so make time for those who make you laugh, pay attention to what they value, then make an effort to connect with them on that level. 

I read an article online about the misnomer of how easy it was to "keep in touch" with people these days on Facebook, via email or texting. But the truth is, it's not the same as real time. Replacing face-to-face or voice-t0-voice time with brief contacts online does not make up for real time together. Reach out. Make the effort to have friends and meaningful relationship. For me, it is the key to my happiness and well being. 

"For those who are willing to make an effort, great miracles and wonderful treasures are in store."

-Isaac Bashevis Singer

A gracious heart . . . .

Hello friends!  May I share something very special with you? I am so incredibly happy to tell you that I was able to spend an evening with someone that I "met" via blogging 3 years ago. I've been following a lovely blog out of South Africa, that is designed and written by Lana Kenney, called lanaloustyle.com..............

Lana is a Cape Town resident, an amazing photographer, a talented designer, and she has a beautiful blog. She is the reason that I am in Cape Town, South Africa at the moment. Lana blogs about her hometown, and the beautiful surroundings in which she lives. She features and photographs hotels, restaurants, shops and the pure beauty of this area. (As I mentioned, she is also a designer, so you will find plenty of beautiful posts on home decor, fashion & color.) Reading her blog was the very reason that I decided to make it a priority to visit Cape Town. 

It is stunning! Its beauty is breathtaking. The people are incredibly kind. The food is exquisite, ........and last night, I had the honor of spending the evening with Lana. She was so gracious to pick us up at our hotel, then accompany us to 2 fabulous restaurants. We went for a sundowner at The Leopard Bar at The Twelve Apostles Hotel and Spa. This place is beautiful and has received endless awards. Afterwards we worked our way to Kitima for dinner .... another restaurant that is draped in awards. It was fabulous as well, but getting to know Lana was the bonus. She is truly one of the sweetest people you could wish to meet. It is obvious that she loves her hometown, and enjoys sharing it with the world. So don't be afraid to reach out! You never know when the person on the other end will respond in such a gracious way. 

We talked afterwards, and both realized that we parted without taking a photo. We were so preoccupied, we completely forgot. (I told her it was a sign of a successful evening.) 

When you get a minute, check out Lana's blog.

"If a woman be gracious and courteous to strangers, it shows she is a citizen of the world, and that her heart is no island cut off from other lands, but a continent that joins them."

-Francis Bacon Sr.

Just a side note.......

Earlier this year, I received an email from Groupon Getaways featuring this trip to Cape Town. I immediately contacted Lana about it because I wanted to make sure it was a worthy one. I emailed her, asking her advice on the activities and the accommodations that were being offered in the package. Her quick response made me realize that this was a trip that I didn't want to miss. So at the moment, I'm half way through the most amazing adventure I could imagine. My friend and I were not sure what to expect, but I have to say that our expectations have been exceeded. Groupon was great to work with, answered questions promptly, and even with a sense of humor. We literally saved thousands of dollars on this trip. Check them out!

Wild thing, you make my heart sing . . . .

.......and that's because wild things live lives of pure action. In his book, Reinventing Yourself, Steve Chandler writes......

Today, the more I remember to live like a wild thing, taking action instead of brooding on my sad self, the faster self-pity drops away. Chronic sadness seems to become a thing of the past. Sadness is almost never anything but a form of fatigue. And fatigue, paradoxically, is almost always a result of living a life of too little action. The more action I build into my life, the better I sleep, and the less self-pity I feel. The better I sleep, the more energy I have. The more energy I have, the more will I have for taking action. And the more action I take, the happier I feel. The happier I feel, the better my relationships. The better my relationships, the better I sleep. It's the cycle of self-reinvention. 

From the book

Reinventing Yourself

by Steve Chandler

"Sometimes you just gotta give yourself 

what you wish someone else would give you."

Dr. Phil McGraw

Photo via flickr

by Anirudh Koul 

Children want limits . . . .

"You don't have to be the world's strongest man 

to earn the respect of a child or a teenager, 

but you have to be strong enough 

to stand your ground against an onslaught of resistance."

-S. Truett Cathy

Children all around us are growing up without strong positive guidance from their parents, who are busy, distracted, absent, or choose to be buddies instead of parents to their children. You see them in your neighborhood, your classroom, your troop, your team, or your family.

These children cannot build themselves into responsible adults. They cannot teach themselves respect, trust, generosity, or common sense. They need for you to teach them. They need for you to reach out to them in love - to love them into a sense of belonging. They need for you to be available to talk - to be a friend. They need your firm instruction. They need honest encouragement and to be reminded of their strengths and opportunities. 

How many families have you seen that are ruled by the child? By age five, some children already dictate to their parents what they will do. They know their parents would rather give in to their demands than deal with a tantrum. I've seen dozens of children through the years who never understood respect for authority. Their parents rarely enforced discipline at home until the children were completely out of control. Their inconsistent message only amplified the problem. Be so consistent with your discipline that you're boring! 

"Children want limits,

and they want to be able

to respect the adults

who set those limits."

From the book

It's Better To Build Boys Than Mend Men

-by S. Truett Cathy

Put forth your best . . . .

Happy Monday! It's a new work week, and for the most part, you probably have somewhat of a clear idea as to what is expected of you this week. How are you approaching it? Are you dreading it already? Are you scheming about ways to skirt your duties, or are you heading into your work week with determination, challenging yourself to put forth your best? I can tell you this.....if you're sporting a negative attitude already, you can count on it being more difficult than it needs to be, and I guarantee you, you're only hurting yourself. When you give your best,  people notice. When you don't, people notice. If you're showing up early, staying late, and doing it with enthusiasm, you make yourself irreplaceable. Competition is tough! But when you put forth the best of yourself, show a willingness to do what it takes, and work one more hour, 90% of your competition will drop out. Roll up your sleeves, and show 'em what you've got! Do it for YOU!

"When we do more than we are paid to do, 

eventually we will be paid more for what we do."

-Zig Ziglar

Make time to make it happen . . . .

Does this sound familiar? You say to a friend......"Can we do lunch on Tuesday?"  Your friend responds, "Tuesday won't work for me, how about Wednesday?" You reply, "Nope, I'm booked." It doesn't work out, then we don't see our friend for months. We all know by now that if we're not making an effort to schedule time to catch up with our friends, it just doesn't happen. It worked in the past, but it doesn't anymore. Our schedules are crammed! So if we're not being persistent with scheduling time together, we might as well say...."How about never? Will never work for you?" 

If you don't make time to make it happen, 

it won't happen.

Today, the rush and the gush threaten to diminish or even destroy our most important connections. Unless you consciously and deliberately preserve time for, say family dinner, or lunch with a friend, or Sunday dinner at Grandma's, or a weekend away with your spouse, or physical exercise, or playing the instrument you love, or keeping up with the team you have always followed, or taking your dog for a walk, or going to your son's or daughter's play or game, or weeding the garden you so adore, or working on your boat, or reading that stack of books by your bed -- unless you consciously and deliberately preserve time to connect with what matters most to you, your connection with whatever it is will erode. The waters of the rush and the gush will rust it out and sweep it away. You will find yourself less energetic, less optimistic, less hopeful, less confident, and less enthusiastic than before, and you won't know why. You'll ascribe it to being too busy or to growing older, or depression, or being too disorganized, or just to "life." That fact is, it's none of those things! It is that you have neglected what matters most to you. In this era, you must deliberately preserve and cultivate your most valuable connections to people, activities, and whatever else is most important to you. Anyone can cultivate these connections, but only if you plan to do so and insist on adhering to your plan.

Select the connections you care most about and cultivate just those. Realize that being deeply connected to what matters most to  you is the enlightened way of life. 

"When we get too caught up in the busyness of the world, we lose connection with one another, and ourselves."

-Jack Kornfield

Partial text from the book

Crazy Busy

by Edward M. Hallowell, M.D.

Happy Friday, my friends!

Have a wonderful weekend!

Thank you . . . .

I read a quote earlier this morning that said "just because you're not always skipping through tulips with joy doesn't mean there's something wrong with you." I couldn't agree more, however, because of the fact that I write about finding more joy in your life, I am guessing I could be mistaken as one who might think otherwise.  Quite the contrary. We are faced with challenges, demands  and heartache every day. I am not immune from that. Nor do I believe that there is something wrong with you if you can't put a smile on your face when you're staring at a pile of work and your boss is breathing down your neck, or if you've just missed your flight and lost your luggage.  It can be difficult to remain joyful through these stressors. But I do believe, with all my heart, that it is how you approach these stressors that makes all the difference. I am an optimist by choice.  I am fully aware of daily difficulties, but I also believe that life is overflowing with good. And I choose to see the good in front of me, even when faced with bad situations. If you are making a choice to  dwell on the worst part of the situation, you are the one who suffers. 

Tomorrow marks the 3rd anniversary of This Way to Joy, and I thought it might be a perfect time to reiterate why I do this. So why do I write about finding joy? Simply because I believe that ultimately everyone deserves it. And I know that when you can find joy in your own life, you become a better person; a happier person. When you're a happier person, you make it easier on those who spend time with you. You're a joy to be around! We probably can't conquer the world because of it, but it sure makes a difference in how you spend your days, which turn into months, then years, and before you know it, you've just lead a pretty happy life.

Please allow me to

thank you for visiting me.

♥ I am honored that you choose to come here. ♥

xo, Connie

Are you always running late? . . . .

You know you need to be somewhere in an hour, but you always end up losing track of time, often because you think you can squeeze in one more thing before you leave. It never fails. It took you longer than you thought it would, traffic's bad, and now you're late. Aaargh! It's such a common stressor! 

It is always my intention to be on time; early as a matter of fact, but it doesn't always work out that way. It helps when I put myself in the shoes of the person I'm meeting. I imagine how they feel, sitting there waiting for me. I know their time is just as important as mine, so I don't want to seem disrespectful. Not to mention that it may look as if you're completely unorganized. If you're habitually late, it can even make you look selfish, and can begin to damage your relationships. Now, with the luxury of texting, do we feel like we're off the hook if we can send a quick note saying we're on our way? It's true that it can relieve a little bit of anxiousness, but for me, I can still feel my heart rate begin to rise when I can't be there on time.

We live in a busy society....that's no secret, but I'm thinking we're just overbooked! Instead of scheduling 10 things a day.....try 8. Remind yourself of the reality of just how much you can truly get done.......productively. Allow more "in-between" space when scheduling your day. Assume everything will take longer than planned, because most likely, it will. Give it a try. You may even be early for a change! You'll be able to catch your breath, and that's always an awesome feeling!

"How did it get so late so soon?"

-Dr. Seuss

What is it about New Year's resolutions that cause people to discard them so quickly? Is it because they feel it's just another promise they make to themselves that they know will be broken by the time March rolls around? It's so self-defeating to think of them that way! I came across a quote recently that said, "A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other." Oh my goodness, that is SO true for SO many. I've already noticed that the gym isn't quite as busy as it was on January 2nd! But it doesn't have to be that way! I have a sign that I keep in my sight that says, "Do something today that your future self will thank you for." I love that! That is such a huge motivator for me because I KNOW that "that future" will be here before I know it! You have to at least BEGIN to do something differently if you want change in your life. How can your life be better a year from now if you don't even get started? Doing nothing is the easy route. Do you come home tired every night and end up on the sofa? Don't do that! Starting today, don't do that! As someone who exercises a minimum of 5 days a week, I too am often tired when I begin my workout, but I promise, it doesn't take long before I am feeling so much better, completely energized, and mentally stimulated. Require more of yourself! This much I know.......nobody's going to do it for you. Be accountable for the decisions you make every day. Dr. Phil McGraw says....."Starting now, begin each and every day of your life with the question: 'What can I do today to make my life better?' Ask it, answer it, and then do it, every day."

If you continue to do what you've always done,

you will continue to have what you've always had.

If you do different,

you will have different.

Happy Friday!

Have an awesome weekend! 

Make an effort . . . .

The countdown begins!.....3 days left until the New Year. It's a tradition for many to stop and examine what's working in their life, and what's not. Do you find yourself taking a closer look? What changes, if any, are you thinking about making? Personally I feel that changes can be made any day of the year, or any moment for that matter......not just when the calendar flips to a New Year. But for the sake of tradition, I do find myself asking a few questions. It just seems like an appropriate time to re-group, and to take an honest look at what changes can be made to enhance or enrich our lives. Are we spending time with people who are good for us? Are we good for them? Are we healthy? Could we be healthier? Are we giving back? Do we give at all? New Year's resolutions don't have to be huge life changing affairs. But we could at least promise ourselves that we'll do SOMEthing, as small as that may be, to better ourselves and the people around us. It's not that difficult. The details of our life could change, and most likely WILL change, by this time next year. I know we can't control everything, but if we knew we could control at least  a part of that, why wouldn't we make an effort to do what we can to make it better? Make a promise to yourself that you will put forth the effort that it takes to do something that will enhance your life. If you desire something, find the energy to input the effort! How bad do you want it?

(Hint....I've found that adding a bit more humor to your life makes it easier!)

"Rules for Happiness: 

something to do,

someone to love,

something to hope for."

It's all you can do . . . .

....and that's okay.

Never 

stop 

trying.

Fun or Drudgery? . . . .

Can I tell you something? I really do believe that living your dreams or following your passion, does not mean that you need to make HUGE changes in your life. There are so many ways to live a very contented life, and to be the happy person you deserve, just by enjoying what you're doing at the moment. All it takes is for you to live with intention, and to put your heart and soul into how you spend your day. Are you in an office setting, in your own little cubicle, and have no intention of leaving that job? Then I hope you don't feel a sense of dread when you step into that office. I hope you're making the most of your time there. I hope you have surrounded yourself with photo's of your loved ones and things that inspire you. And most importantly, I hope you're proud of what you do and the way you do it. If you're not happy in your job, but have no intention of leaving, then change your perception of the job! I guarantee if you are not happy doing what you're doing, then you are most likely not putting forth the best of your abilities. That's where the change needs to be made. I'm not saying you need to leave your job, I'm merely saying you need to approach it differently. When  you walk in the door the next time, walk through as if it were your first day. Remember that day? You were excited and wanted to do the best job you could do. Approach it with enthusiasm and determination. Be the best you can be. Get psyched again, and give the best of YOU. No one can ask more of you than that!  Bottom line, when you enjoy your job, you have more energy, more fun, and you look forward to Monday.

If, at this point, you still feel like you are going through the motions, if you're mentally exhausted, and no longer feel enthusiasm in how you are spending your day, then perhaps a change of pace is just what you need.

"Work is either fun or drudgery. 

It depends on your attitude. 

I like fun."

-Colleen C. Barrett

Got laundry? . . . .

The quote above, to me, is the only way to live your life. I'm sorry to tell you this, but laundry and daily chores are very much a part of life. What attitude are you sporting when it comes to daily chores? If you're living your life dreading your routine, grumbling about your daily chores, I promise you, you are making it harder on yourself than it needs to be. We really do have a choice! Your attitude will determine the way you perceive our world, and what life dishes out to you. And I'm sorry, but life dishes out laundry! The secret to enjoying a typical day is how you choose to approach it. If you are dreading your day-to-day duties, try a different approach! We know we can't change the fact that we have daily responsibilities, but we can certainly change the way we think about them. We can either begin by making ourselves miserable, or we can put on our favorite tunes, and dance our way through. The amount of work is the same.

"The world is a playground,

and life is pushing my swing."

-Natalie Kocsis


Photo by Katy Weaver

I promise . . . .

To be so strong that nothing can disturb my 

peace of mind.

To talk health, happiness, and prosperity

to every person I meet.

To make all my friends feel that there is

something worthwhile in them.

To look at the sunny side of everything and make

my optimism come true.

To think only of the best, to work only for the best

and expect only the best.

To be just as enthusiastic about the success of

others as I am about my own.

To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the

greater achievements of the future.

To wear a cheerful expression at all times and 

give a smile to every living creature I meet.

To give so much time to improving myself that I 

have no time to criticize others.

To be too large for worry,

too noble for anger,

too strong for fear,

and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

To think well of myself and to proclaim 

this fact to the world,

not in loud word, but in great deeds.

To live in the faith that the whole world is on my side,

so long as I am true to the best that is in me.

-Christian D. Larson

Photo via Anthropologie

This is so, like, true, ya know?.....Speak with Authority

by Taylor Mali

Happy Monday! . . . .

We have a choice! We get to choose to be happy, or to continue to blame the world for our misfortunes. Give it your best shot today. What do you have to lose?

People generally think that it is the world, the environment, external relationships, 
which stand in one's way, 
in the way of one's good fortune. . . . 
and at the bottom is always man himself 
that stands in his own way.

-Soren Kierkegaard


Graphic by HoneyBoo via etsy