No better reasons to return to work . . . .

Good morning friends! How's life? I hope it's treating you well. Today I should consider doing a post about how crazy busy life can be, and how it can so easily become a blur if you let it. And that is exactly what could happen to me right now if I'm not careful. I am now back in the workforce again after taking a 7 year hiatus, and as busy as it is, it feels so good to be engaged in our business again. So I'm setting priorities and working hard to make sure I can keep the balance in my life that has proven to be so very vital. (More to come on that topic!)

But today I want to share with you a little bit about why my husband asked me to come back to work. He asked that I reengage in a completely different way. He wanted me to bring a bit of the human element to the business atmosphere that he thought was lacking, and he knew it was right up my alley. I was so willing to do that! I go to work to chat!.......to talk to, and more importantly, to listen to our employees, to talk and listen to our customers, to fix minor annoyances, and to simply pay attention to what we can do to add more of the human touch. We all know that happy employees are productive employees, so I have the awesome task of making sure our employees are happy. I am loving this kind of reengagement! 

So what does human element mean? 

My favorite description comes from Tim Stepp........... 

It means sending thank you cards in your own hand writing even if your writing looks like a 5 year olds.

It means dropping your business to talk to a client/customer/employee about a life issue that they may have, and caring, not just because they're a client, but because they're a human being.

It means stepping outside of your role as a businessman/businesswoman, and extending yourself as a person. 

I believe there are no better reasons to return to work. I'm so happy to be back, connecting, caring, and extending myself in a way that I believe is so important. 

Being happy at work rocks! 

Children want limits . . . .

"You don't have to be the world's strongest man 

to earn the respect of a child or a teenager, 

but you have to be strong enough 

to stand your ground against an onslaught of resistance."

-S. Truett Cathy

Children all around us are growing up without strong positive guidance from their parents, who are busy, distracted, absent, or choose to be buddies instead of parents to their children. You see them in your neighborhood, your classroom, your troop, your team, or your family.

These children cannot build themselves into responsible adults. They cannot teach themselves respect, trust, generosity, or common sense. They need for you to teach them. They need for you to reach out to them in love - to love them into a sense of belonging. They need for you to be available to talk - to be a friend. They need your firm instruction. They need honest encouragement and to be reminded of their strengths and opportunities. 

How many families have you seen that are ruled by the child? By age five, some children already dictate to their parents what they will do. They know their parents would rather give in to their demands than deal with a tantrum. I've seen dozens of children through the years who never understood respect for authority. Their parents rarely enforced discipline at home until the children were completely out of control. Their inconsistent message only amplified the problem. Be so consistent with your discipline that you're boring! 

"Children want limits,

and they want to be able

to respect the adults

who set those limits."

From the book

It's Better To Build Boys Than Mend Men

-by S. Truett Cathy

Have you ever heard the wonderful silence just before the dawn? Or the quiet and calm just as a storm ends? Or perhaps you know the silence when you haven't the answer to a question you've been asked, or the hush of a country road at night, or the expectant pause of a room full of people when someone is just about to speak, or most beautiful of all, the moment after the door closes and you're alone in the whole house? Each one is different, you know, and all very beautiful if you listen carefully.

-Norton Juster

"Silences make the

real conversations between friends.

Not the saying

but the never needing to say 

is what counts."

-Margaret Lee Runbeck

I am a big fan of StoryCorps. They are an independent nonprofit, whose mission is to provide Americans of all backgrounds and beliefs with the opportunity to record, share, and preserve the stories of their lives. They do this to remind us of our shared humanity, to strengthen and build the connections between people, teach the value of listening, and to weave into the fabric of our culture the understanding that every life matters. At the same time, they create an invaluable archive of American voices and wisdom for future generations.

Listen and watch the animated video below as Joshua Littman, a 12-year old boy with Asperger's syndrome, interviews his mother, Sarah. Joshua's unique questions and Sarah's loving, unguarded answers reveal a beautiful relationship that reminds us of the best--and the most challenging--parts of being a parent.

Record your own story by making your reservation here.

Trusting your instincts . . . .

As I was returning home on the plane yesterday, I was reading several articles about Intuition in the August issue of O Magazine---the topic in which Oprah dedicates this issue to. I understand that "gut feeling" that she refers to; the one we have when we are trying to make a decision about something; and the knowing that you really should listen to those feelings. But I wonder just how much we really listen to that inner voice. Do we brush away those feelings all too often? One article begins by saying, "Someone is trying to tell you something, and that someone is you. Your Intuition is the wisest adviser you'll ever have, and what it says---about what you should do, what you should not do, and how you should live your life---can change everything." Do you hear that voice? Or better yet, do you listen to it? It says, "It's not always easy to hear your inner voice---especially when a certain louder, pushier, and seemingly more sensible presence wants to drown it out." That's the hard part.....when we ignore our gut and go with the pushier voice! You then later realize that you made the wrong decision.....asking yourself, Why didn't I trust my gut? If you haven't read any of these articles, trust me, grab a copy of this issue! It's one decision you won't regret. You'll find lots of great advice on how to go about listening more often...... 

• Wisdom is sensory, not verbal. When something's wrong for you, you'll feel constriction and tightness. The wise choice leads to feelings of liberation, even exhilaration.
• When you feel your body begin to let go of tension, you know you're headed in a wise direction.
• Intuition is more like a muscle. You develop it the more you use it.

"So next time you don't know what to do, 

do nothing. 

Get quiet so you can hear the still, small voice---

your inner GPS guiding you to true North." 

-Oprah Winfrey


Photo via Sunday in Bed

Shhhhhh . . . .

If you were in their shoes . . . .

Are you able to emotionally put yourself in the place of another? When you hear someone speak of a certain difficulty, or even a joy in their life, do you empathize with them, or do you find yourself just waiting for them to finish so you can move on to another topic? We all know that to empathize with someone, you emotionally put yourself in their place, you listen, and you simply recognize their emotions. How many of us allow ourselves to do that? 

Can you temporarily stop insisting on your own viewpoint and look for a moment from the other person's perspective; truly imagining what it would feel like if you were in their shoes? Try it next time.  You will develop a clearer picture of another person's feelings, gain respect for them, and most certainly have an opportunity to develop a deeper connection. Listen up, and go for the connection!

"Suffering and joy teach us, if we allow them, how to make the leap of empathy, which transports us into the heart and soul of another person."

-Fritz Williams

Photo via Doswell & McLean

Live your truth . . . .

How different would your life be if you shaped it based on who you really are and what defines you?  What if you left the expectations of others behind, and began living your life the way you feel is most worthwhile? When we allow others to define us, accepting assigned roles and labels, rather than living our life authentically, it drains us of our life energy. When we accept the labels that others so willingly bestow upon us, we end up repeating the wrong message. The truth is.....labels ignore who you really are! Becoming real is a point in your life when you stop paying attention to those labels, and start listening to your heart. Your heart has been speaking to you for years! The process of 'becoming real' begins when you decide to listen; when you learn to accept and appreciate what it is that makes you different from all the others. As you learn to trust the wisdom of your heart and begin to make creative choices based on what you know is right for you, it is at this point, we grow into ourselves.

Stop burning daylight! Do yourself a favor and get in touch with what you know in your heart really matters.  When you can begin to project who you really are, (and leave the assigned roles & labels behind), you begin making a wonderful contribution to those around you. You put forth the best of who you are!  

Other people's opinion of you 

does not have to become your reality.  

-Les Brown

Photo via Google Images

Henry David Thoreau mused that one of the greatest miracles would be if we could actually look through each other's eyes for an instant. Ironically, the best way to see the world through each other's eyes may be with our ears, by listening, really listening to each other.

Listening is not just etiquette; it's a way of loving, honoring and respecting. It's a way of bonding and connecting. It's a way of sharing ourselves and our humanity.

Ways to listen with compassion, understanding and intention:

- Be present. Give the speaker your full attention.

- Show a genuine interest. Encourage the speaker.

- Listen with all your heart.

- Make it safe for the speaker to share his or her thoughts and feelings.

- Listen to every word without interrupting or wishing to speak yourself.

- When the speaker has finished, acknowledge what you heard without judging or correcting.

Wisdom is reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you'd have preferred to talk.

-Doug Larson

From the book 1: How many people does it take to make a difference?

Love yourself first . . . .

We are each responsible for our own life. No other person is or even can be. You might have experienced things that caused you to judge yourself unworthy, but it is important to know why and how you were programmed to feel the way you do so you can do the work of changing the program. That is one of the most important challenges of your life ...... to heal the wounds of your past so you don't continue to bleed. Until you do, you are literally dragging the weight of your past into your present. And that makes it nearly impossible to move forward.

If you're holding anyone else accountable for your happiness, you're wasting time. You must be fearless enough to give yourself the love you didn't receive. Begin noticing how every day brings a new opportunity for your growth. How buried disagreements with your mother show up in arguments with your spouse. How unconscious feelings of unworthiness appear in everything you do and don't do. All these experiences are your life's way of making itself whole ...... sometimes whispering, often screaming. Pay attention. Every choice gives you a chance to pave your own road. Keep moving. Full speed ahead.

From the book

What I Know for Sure

by

Oprah Winfrey

Photo via Google Images

Words can destroy . . . .

Once you have spoken,

even the swiftest horse 

cannot retract your words.

-Chinese proverb

When speaking, speak with vision, clarity, and kindness. Be positive. Instead of concentrating on the problem, look for the solution. Focus on the good, the true, the beautiful. Look for possibilities and see the potential in each person, each situation. Focused for good, your positive energy has great power. Tell the truth. Say what you mean instead of making easy promises that mean nothing. Keep your word. Be kind and generous. Let your language be filled with loving words instead of critical judgement.

What we call each other

ultimately becomes what we think

of each other,

and it matters.

-Jeanne J. Kirkpatrick

Once again,....

From the book

the Art of Encouragement

by Candy Paull

Good book!!

Listening is a magnetic and strange thing; a creative force. Think how friends that really listen to us are the ones we move toward, and we want to sit in their radius as though it did us good, like ultraviolet rays.

-Brenda Ueland

The gift of silence . . . .

Graphic from the book Be

by Kobi Yamada

Just listen . . . .

"There comes a time when the world gets quiet and the only thing left is your own heart. So you'd better learn the sound of it. Otherwise you'll never understand what it's saying."

-Sarah Dessen

Photo by Sanni Salminen via One Eyeland

Listening with your heart . . . .

"God gave you two ears and one mouth" . . . . what does that tell you? I'm thinking that if more people really understood what it means to listen, it could change their life. It could certainly change their relationships. Most of us with siblings grew up simply trying to be heard. We talked over each other. We certainly talked louder. It's sad to say, but most of the time it was true. The squeaky wheel got the grease, right? So at what point did you learn to listen? More than likely you met someone who really listened to you, which made you take notice. You realized what it meant to be heard. Someone was paying attention!

Are you a listener that participates in the conversation or are you just waiting for the other person to stop talking so you can speak? First, you must quiet the chatter in your mind, and engage yourself. If you are constantly thinking about what you are about to say, you surely cannot hear what the other person is talking about. Pay attention to the words and feelings that are being expressed to you. It is then that you will begin to really hear what the other person is trying to convey. Hopefully, at this point you will begin to feel the connection.

I recently read an article that said, 'once the other person realizes that you actually heard what they said, they will most likely relax, share and trust you'. I love that because that's when true communication begins. That's when the real conversations take place. Learning how to truly listen will be the best gift you ever give to yourself and to those you love. Listening with your heart is truly invaluable.

"Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force. The friends who listen to us are the ones we move toward. When we are listened to, it creates us, makes us unfold and expand."

Your inner voice . . . .

There is something in every one of you that waits and listens for the sound of the genuine in yourself. It is the only true guide you will ever have. And if you cannot hear it, you will, all your life, spend your days on the ends of strings that somebody else pulls."

-Howard Thurman

Becoming real . . . .

Becoming real is a point in your life when you stop listening to what others believe you should be, and start listening to your heart. Your heart has been speaking to you for years! The process of 'becoming real' begins when you decide to listen - when you learn to accept and appreciate what it is that makes you different from all the others. As you learn to trust the wisdom of your heart and begin to make creative choices based on what you know is right for you, it is at this point, we grow into ourselves. This is when becoming real, becomes reality.

"Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else."

-Judy Garland